What's worse than a pile of dead babies? There's an alive one at the bottom what's worse than that? He ate his way out what's worse than that? He enjoyed it

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Wanna hear a joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A newborn, an infant, a teenager, a person in their 20s, a person in the 40s, a person in their 60s, a person in their 70s, a person in their 80s, and a little old lady who is about 105 walk into a bar. Wait, infants can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to call animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

hey guys what's up?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why is Steven so gay? Because hes actually Richard Simmons

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do u bring a dead person to life? U dont.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the donkey fall over Because it had A diabetic foot infection and had to have a non traumatic amputation of the lower hind leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Kid: knock knock Orphan: whos there? Kid: not your parents

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off and his body was never recovered. Repeat then handled the funeral planning.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do birds need when they are sick? Most wild animals die when they are sick. However, they can sometimes be nursed back to health with special food and electrolyte solutions in special animal rehabilitation centres.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

There once was a squirrel. He lost his nuts.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Once I asked a Chinese girl , how do I look ? . She said you Europeans all look the same .

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the beachball get sad after it was deflated? Beachballs don't have emotions.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt.,

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Martin go to school with no pants on? Because he had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

shammmm is a lesbian.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call Michael? A homosexual person who is nice, however he is still gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did Jesus say last before being nailed to the cross? I don't know, It never happened. ...Why did he say that? He didn't, it's not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

a fat old hobo named da'shovant'e ate a bucket of fried chicken then killed a little girl named poopface McFergusen

thumb_up thumb_down +15

knock knock who is there? Jehovah's Witness... IT IS the desire of Jehovah's Witnesses that you become better acquainted with them. You may have met them as neighbors and fellow employees or in other daily affairs of life. You may have seen them on the street, offering their magazines to passersby. Or you may have spoken briefly with them at your door. Actually, Jehovah's Witnesses are interested in you and your welfare. They want to be your friends and to tell you more about themselves, their beliefs, their organization, and how they feel about people and the world in which all of us live. To accomplish this, they have prepared this brochure for you. In most ways Jehovah's Witnesses are like everyone else. They have normal problems—economic, physical, emotional. They make mistakes at times, for they are not perfect, inspired, or infallible. But they try to learn from their experiences and diligently study the Bible to make needed corrections. They have made a dedication to God to do his will, and they apply themselves to fulfill this dedication. In all their activities they seek guidance from God's Word and his holy spirit.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do u call a man with no arms and no legs and is laying in front of a door? Matt

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops