What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

Q: Imagine you are driving a boat, and the wheel falls off. So how many pancakes can you fit in that box? A: None, because the oranges couldn't talk.

John: Hey Pablo why are you standing outside Home Depot. Pablo: Because I work here.

Knock Knock. Whose there. We have a warrant for your arrest.

What is James Miller's real name? James Miller.

How does santa deliver presents? He doesn't, because he's not real!

how do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? with a blender. how do you get them back out of the bowl? with tortila chips.

How do you make someone cry Take all of their belongings

why did the plane crash the pilot was Suicidal

A penis takes a trip to spain, he falls in love with an apple and proceeds to commit suicide

A man walks into the bar with his parrot, but sadly the parrot was attacked ferociously by a flock of seagulls and it died.

what do you call a homeless man? poor.

What is the difference between a woman and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is the most common term for adult females of the human race.

It's like they always say, you get what you pay for. Unless your a woman, then you get what other men pay for.

In Soviet Russia you drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up.

ORGANISM. Yeah, I thought it said "orgasm" too.

Is that a baby in your carriage or are you just happ..... WTF. WHERES ITS EYES!? **purges**

What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

kknocckkck knockckkckccck hue's theeeair? TTThhe pOOOliCCee. fffor whaaa? yyouu rr arreesstedd forrr drrunkkkc dddrivvinnng! Puuut urerre frreaakkki'n hannnddss uppp!

As Vanilla Ice once said, "If there's a problem ill resolve it."

Why does the man hate his job? He thinks working sucks?

What's red and invisible? We don't know that it's red.

Why was the kid mad? Because he died.

Why was the boy kissing up to his parents? He only wanted them to say "I love you" for once.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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