A panda walks into a bar... Psht. Panda in a bar, that's impossible.

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Knock Knock Come in. Thanks.

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A Jewish man walks into a grocery store. He purchases the items he needs and leaves.

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How do you cripple a fireman? You push him down the stairs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it hit a poll and died of brain damage the next day

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"What is the sound of one hand clapping?" "I'm not quite sure, but your on fire."

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What are vampires favorite drink? Vampires aren't real.

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg because if a chicken came first then that means chickens magically appeared. Eggs however may change over time through evolution by a common ancestor because after millions of years of hatching, it slowly mutated by natural selection and became to what is now known as the domestic chicken. (Applause)

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its was amazinglysmooth fuck off

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What did the compliemantry peanuts say to the man? "Nice tie."

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knock, knock... no one replies and it becomes obvious that no one is in the house.

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You know what's better than a taco? A better taco.

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What's brown and sticky? The british econonic system from 2 May 1997 to 27 June 2007.

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i dont like attention whores lol

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What is the worst part about being a blonde? Random green painted strangers throw forks at you claiming it will confuse you, because they got it off of an anti joke website!

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Whats worse than sour milk? 911. Whats worse than 911? drinking sout milk!

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How do you get a Black Person out of a tree? Well, if he is stuck call 911 itmediatly!

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From the makers of Call of Duty 1, comes Call of Duty 2.

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what did the shark do when he died.....

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A man walks into a bar and says "I'd like a beer."

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your momma so dumb she put a battery up her but and said i got the power!!!

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Pete and repeat were on a boat. Repeat fell off, who was left?

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Q: A Jew lost a penny, a nickel, and a dime. If he found the nickel and the dime, what didn't he find? A: The Mesiah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops