Q: What weighs 6 ounces, is extremely dangerous, and lives in a tree? A: A sparrow with a machine gun.

a chinese wompus came out of the basement.

Q. What do you tell a women with two black eyes? A. Stop pissing him off!

if life thows you lemons ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED

Why is it impossible to travel faster than the speed of light? Because it travels pretty darn fast.

Hey guess what! We're birthday buddies! May 3rd.. Yeah that's why you should give me 5 bucks.

what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

Roused are red violets are blue I just s*** in my own poo

Why was the 45 year old man crying? He shit his pants.

3 men check in to a motel. They all decide to leave given the eminent danger of being the butt of a homosexual joke.

How do you stop a charging rhinocerous? Nuke africa.

What's the difference between a duck? One of it's feet are both yellow.

What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

Why do Christians believe in God? They made him up

Whats white and sticky fluff

Q: Do you know what really makes me smile? A: Facial Muscles.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A fat guy. - Louis

Your mama's so fat.... I ran around her twice, And got lost

What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy running down a hill? Two good friends enjoying the countryside together.

Wanna hear a joke..... Corey Jacobs Penis!

What's worse than finding a pickle in a jar? Finding Snooki in a jar.

A man walks outside and walks back in. Why? Because it was raining purple unicorns and he felt the need to go back inside.

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs sitting on your street corner? Suicidal.

A man is about to rape a girl. Before penetration he carefully and correctly applies a condom as he practices safe sex and is not yet ready to father a child.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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