Why John isn't smiling? Becouse he died yesterday

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was free-range.

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What did Spiderman do when he saw a crime taking place? He stopped it

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What do you call a black priest who's name is John? Father John

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As Vanilla Ice once said, "If there's a problem ill resolve it."

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Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia Poem make YOU!

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms Why did Susie drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere Knock Knock "Whos There?" Not Susie

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split your ass cheek

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whats brown and sticky? a four week dead uunborn african child...

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What's worse than accidentally biting your tongue? Hitler accidentally biting your tongue.

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

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a girl and a guy rented a hotel room for a night. theyre siblings and stayed up all night watching very classy movies about farm animals and each of them ordered a chocolate cake to eat while watching their fantastic informational film.

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What did the preist say to the other preist? 'hey! we're both preists!'

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Why was the Asian so good at ping-pong? Disciprine.

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A man walks into bar and orders a drink. The bartender says " Hey I saw a bunch of men coming in and out of your house while you were on vacation last week." The man replied " I know. That's because my wife is a prostitute."

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Yo momma's so fat she got her own zip code! except she doesn't because zip codes are reserved for much larger areas than that of your mother.

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What did Frodo do when he realized that he needed to destroy the ring? He simply walked into Mordor

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Q. Why can't Stevie wonder read? A. Because he is black

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What goes up a smokestack instead of down? Murdered Jews, when they get cremated.

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How do you describe a funny man on stilts? Stand up comedy

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What has two legs and can't walk. Someone thats paralyzed!

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Q) Why was six afraid of seven? A) Seven was black.

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the WNBA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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