what did Sandra bullock say to Jesse James? I hate your fickin a**!!:)

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Niki Minaj's ass

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How do you find a date? Look on the calendar!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some dreams stay dreams, But some dreams come true. Some want to be god, They want to have made us. But I want to be an astronaught, So I can explore Uranus.

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What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

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What do you call a man with no arms? A cripple.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "why that long face?" The horse, being a horse, thus not being able to comprehend the complexities of a conversation, says nothing and then shits on the floor.

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Fine, Nero7 made sure I got to a safe place at least. My code is "Eliza", that is all, please provide me with whatever information you can regarding what happened, and while I read you are not shy of graphical detail, I ask that you keep it lightly, Nero7 meant much to me, please. -"Veronica.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He lacked the required muscular, integumentary, and nervous systems required to do so (among other essential bodily systems).

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Why did the chicken cross the road?... To get to the other side.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion. What's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant scorpions

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Q: How did the black man die? A: He got hit by a car, and we all know that this is painful.

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Are you from Africa? Because you're black.

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What's funny about using a shake weight? It resembles masturbating with a penis.

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Like why period? Why can't mother nature just call and be like ''Wassup girl? You're not pregnant, I'll talk to you next month.''

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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A man is approached by a mysterious character in the streets, offering to tell him a dark and amazing tale. The man declines and walks away.

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Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

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What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

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What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nofin Eejit.

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how long is a peice of string howeverlong you want to make it

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A random guy walks into your house and says hi. You say SHUTUP

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Why did the blond laugh at work? Because she farted. It was rather uncomfortable for everyone involved.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops