Q: Why is my friend gay? A: Because i slept with him.

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H2O." The second one then says "I'll have some H2O too." Both chemists live as no bartender is irresponsible enough to serve liquid hydrogen peroxide in a public bar.

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Why did the guy crash his car? Because he didn't want to crash his truck.

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what is worse than a pile of dead babies? there is one alive at the bottom. what is worse than that? it eats its way out.

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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How do you make a baby float? Take your foot of its head.

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What did suzie do when she dropped her cookie? She died because it was secretly a bomb

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How do you kill a retard You give em a kinfe and ask who's special

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How do you stop a Polish army on horseback? With artillery.

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What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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The homeless man first experience warmth....in Hell

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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A car enters a curve. An ice-cream man pops out from a manhole and throws a pine cone to the car.

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Why was timmy in the well? He had autism.

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Have you seen the new Spiderman movie yet? No, Uncle ben hasn't seen it either.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to see the CN tower. He was then hit by a fridge dropped by people running tests on the top floor.

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What did Batman get for Christmas. Nothing his parents are dead.

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? 10 dead trashcans in 1 baby

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Just finished taking a huge $hit, wiped my ass, then realized I wasn't done.

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After finishing reading this sentence, read it again and you might or might not realise that there is a secret subliminal message in this sentence making you do something later tonight. Can you spot it?

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Michal j. fox has Parkinsons disease. He is tired of losing at jenga

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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