What did the apple tree say to the farmer? "Stop picking on me"

--"Do you like impressions?" -Yeah! --"Why?" ................... --"That was Socr-ates."

every 60 seconds in africa a minute passes

why did the man leave the restaurant? because he was done with his meal

What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

watashi no namae wa ramune desu

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

Potassium? K.

<=-[ J1MMY | Dubstep Maniacs Crew 4 Life ]-=>

why was the boy sad...because scooby doo shot him with a harpoon

I tried to call my friend in Haiti. It went straight to vibrate.....

What's the difference between red paint and blue paint? One looks like blood and is used a lot in restaurants. The other is blue.

Friends are a lot like snow You pee on them, they disappear

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because its a horse and cant speak or understand english and gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables and stools.

a man walks into a bar he got hurt

She is so fast We call her Email Instead of Emily...

What is black, often hung by a rope on a tree, and something white people like to play with? A tire swing.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

So there are three black people on a plane. The pilot comes over the intercom and says "Wow wow wow wait a second... ...why are there only three people on this plane? This is a commercial flight"

Yo mamas so stupid that she received slightly below average in her latest maths test

What's worse than eating cows. Death

A black guy is lying on the floor dead with a knife next to him, what killed him? Multiple bullets sprayed from an uzi being held by a rival gang member....

Are you from Tennesse because my uncle grew up there and I was wondering if you knew him.

yo mamma so fat she got pied to be the Olympic swimming pool

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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