- Anti Joke

Why don't women need watches? Because most people carry cell phones that tells them the time making watches redundant and obsolete.

How did the girl with no arms fall out the window? I pushed her.

Q:whats comes back to life and says RAR A;jesus

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will cause me to develop a drinking problem.

Why couldn't Austin eat his noodles? He was a horse, and horses don't have hands, silly goose!

A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

why did the iraqi woman bury her wedding ring in the ground? because it's the only way she could properly pay respect to the death of her husband who recently died in a group suicide bombing.

"Did you eat your veggies?" asked the shark, sarcastically.

A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound? I don't know... Does the deaf woman locked in my basement?

A chickens walks into a bar... And greets her fellow friends

Why did Miley Cyrus have to buy a new tour bus? The old one stopped twerking.

Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

What would the world be like without 1 direction it would still be the world but just without 1 direction

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

what do you call a white guy on a bus load of blacks guys? probably his name...

Hey i just met u And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met u

How do you stop clowns from throwing cinderblocks at your car? Hire a hitman.

I tried to call my friend in Haiti. It went straight to vibrate.....

squirrels playing in the street=dez bryant playing tennis

What's the most racist thing ever... Manhattan

Why didn't the poor man buy a candy bar? He wasn't hungry.

jay hefti is so cool and alex askew is hot

Q-why did the dog run away? A-he was Michael vick's dog

what do you call a black man on tv? an actor