A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

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A daring man proclaimed "Well, here goes nothing!" as his FaceBook status, and all his friends were annoyed.

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where wally? wallys a myth.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.

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What did the boy do when he struck out in his little league game? He was very upset and contemplated not playing the game anymore.

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what is the difference between a park bench and a black guy? the park bench is an inanamite object and doesn't have feelings

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What's worse than a bee sting? Getting shot in the head

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilots had brain damage.

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Call me a banana. You're a banana. No I'm not

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what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Nazis did't burn the pizza

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What did the table say to the human? Nothing, tables don't talk.

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What do you do when a man in a corner offers you candy? You walk away.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Mark Mark who? Mark Jennings. Oh hey, Mark, come in.

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why did the chicken cross the road? the holocaust

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http://richardfigures.com/

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Know who had straight parents? Adolf Hitler.

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Two blondes were driving down the road. The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ''Yes. No. Yes. No.''

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What's silent but deadly? Limnic Eruption.

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What did the monkey say to dog Foreskin

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How many vampires does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Vampires do not exist

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I had a dream, then i died in it and now i'm dead but who cares, how are you ?

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A YouTube brawl began between two gentlemen in the comment section. They agreed to a final answer and moved on.

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What did the pedophile get for christmas? He was raped by a gorilla

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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