What do you say when you kill a pregnant lady? Double kill

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A Haitian walks into a bar. It collapses.

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Obamacare haters

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What did the judge say to the midget when he sent him to jail ? Stop beating your wife

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What happened to your face? I walked into a tree

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Gianni

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why did the man leave the restaurant? because he was done with his meal

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Q: Why didn't the boy go to school? A: It was the weekend.

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Why did the chicken go up the car? To get a drink.

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Two black men are sitting next to each other on a bench when a woman walks by. The first man says "Damn, that's a nice pair of tits!". The second man said "Yes, she does posses a supple and voluptuous bosom." The cat that was sitting underneath the bench then began cleaning himself.

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How do you make bread out of corpses? You don't. You grow it with bread seeds.

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Why wasn't the drunk driver arrested when he killed a man? Because he died as well.

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What did rosa parks get for christmas? -Racism

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Q: What do you call a dog after the dentist? A: A dog.

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Q: How do you stop a Mexican tank? A: Ask politely.

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What did the collage professor say to the plumber? Hi.

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why was the girl sleeping on the ground? because she was dead

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Person 1: Can I write a good anti-joke? Person 2: No. Person 1: Why nut? Person 2: All the gud onez r taken. ;-; tru...

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Why do you always find a dead baby in the last place you look? Because once you've found it, you stop looking.

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I tried to call my friend in Haiti. It went straight to vibrate.....

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your father died

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How do you murder a blonde? You drop a bull dozer on her filled with 2 bulls, 100 wasps and a rabbit squirrel.

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A man walks into a bar. Later that night he comes home to an intervention and realizes he has a drinking has hurt him and his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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