Why is a building called a building when it's already been built? My pinky is pink and my liver helps me live.

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What is the difference between a mom and a dad? One is a mom and the other is a dad. Why couldn't Fred see the board? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his coat? Where's my coat.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What do you call a Fish without the I? Astyanax mexicanus, or the Blind Cave variant of the Mexican tetra

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What did grandma receive for her 75th birthday? Alzheimer's.

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike when you eat them they die

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vaginas

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Whats worse than a Jew Ben rike

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Why is Billy in a ditch? He stepped on a landmine and was promptly burst into many pieces. The ditch was coincidental.

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pilot.

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Why couldn't little Jessica open the door? It was locked

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Whats the XBOX JUAN's most popular game. Call of Juarez!!!

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What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? One is a human being and the other is a resourceful appliance.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van

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Why did the plan crash? Because the pilot was a potato

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What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

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What got stolen from the poor boys house... Nothing, he was so poor that he couldn't even afford any thing

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How can you tell if your goldfish is male or female? Put some fishfood in the bowl, if he swims to the food it's a male, if she swims to the food it's a female.

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Why was the ghost boy sad? He was attending his own funeral.

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Teacher: Billy what do you want to be when you grow up? Billy: A fireman! Teacher: Tommy what do you want to be when you grow up? Tommy: 9/11

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What do you call Americas first black president? A change.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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