What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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whats red and and smells like blue paint red paint

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Why did people have cold showers in the old days? Because there was no electricity back then, making it hard to heat water to a temperature that was classified as 'warm'.

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A man was having problems with his computer, so he called customer service. An Indian man, by the name of Muhammad picked up the phone. This came of no surprise to the man, because Muhammad is the most common name in the world. The man soon found and fixed the problem on his computer and hung up.

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A penis takes a trip to spain, he falls in love with an apple and proceeds to commit suicide

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What did Spiderman do when he saw a crime taking place? He stopped it

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How do you make someone cry Take all of their belongings

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why did the plane crash the pilot was Suicidal

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Yo Momma's so old... She has lived a great life and you should be very proud of her even though she is slowly dying of a degenerative disease.

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what do you call a homeless man? poor.

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I have aids

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Hey Jay, did you here the one about the 3 hookers at the bar? Jay didn't reply because he was deaf

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what happens when I bought a car. A man stole it from me and killed my family.

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Why did the book disappear?

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What happened to the teacher? He taught his students.

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An asian, black man and a white guy are stranded in a desert with no food and no water, so what do they do Die

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So a mouse walks into a bar....the bartender immediatly kills it because he doesn't want another C rating by the sanitation department.

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What's red and invisible? We don't know that it's red.

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But I like being mean and angry! Nevermind, 158 according to Mensa`s standard bullshit test (my wife got 160, I remember we argued a lot over it because I kept insisting they would not use the same predictable pattern again... I overestimated them wildly I can make more advanced stuff than they can, and in no way do I consider myself "The worlds elite required to ensue the future survival and salvation of mankind`s finest and fittest" those fucking arrogant suckers,,,) Below average in any test including American presidents and historical events. Aaand about 450 in any bullshit online test which then offers you "more accurate tests" which cost money and probably destroys the fake confidence any idiot buying such a test in the first place might have built up,

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A man walks into a bar Ouch!

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What do you call a black airline pilot? Captain, you big racist.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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A fat lady walks into a bar. Your probably wondering what she ordered. She ordered a ham burger.

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shitted on em put your numbah 2s in the air if ya did it on em

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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