Why do women wear perfume and makeup? Because they smell bad and are ugly.

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They say those with anti-humour are the wisest.

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If E = cos[(6x+8) + 5x!] + tan(90-X)^2, and x = 137/43, what is E? The fifth letter of the alphabet.

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Q: what animal didnt get on Noah's ark in pairs? A: worms. they got on in apples.

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What did the kid say when he fell of a cliff and met Tom jones? Hi

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What do you call a man with a towel on his head? A good target.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Q. What do you tell a women with two black eyes? A. Stop pissing him off!

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Why did the world not end in 2012? Because the Mayans were drunks.

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Patient: Doctor, I've been having a problem, I can't remember anything. Doctor: Do you think you might have amnesia, a common memory problem. Patient: What Problem?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it doesn't matter because he got hit by a bus before he could even make it.

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What did the tomato say to the ketchup? Nothing both vegetables and condiments are inanimate objects, therefore cannot speak

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What makes a good jack-o-lantern? A pumpkin

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs sitting on your street corner? Suicidal.

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A man walks outside and walks back in. Why? Because it was raining purple unicorns and he felt the need to go back inside.

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the city on the other side. He hoped he could find work in one of the city's cheap factories. He needed money for his family: he could not bear to see them slowly starve for any longer. If he could get a lowly-paid job he may be able to just sustain them. But he knew it could not last for long. He would probably die on the streets or in the slums, cold, lonely and starving. But it was a risk worth taking - he could not see his own family waste slowly away like so many of his friends had.

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What's worse than finding a pickle in a jar? Finding Snooki in a jar.

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if life thows you lemons ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED

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Hi

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What do you call a man with a black book? I don't know.

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Q: What's the difference between a vampire and a lawyer? A: A lot of things.

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what is sticky and brown?a stick

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops