What do you call a man who eats a swordfish at 11 o'clock? Dead by midnight.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do u call it when a Jamaican gets angrey? Nothing, at all. Just an angrey person

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If a vegetarian only eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats bloody and wrinkly? Your nans fanny

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I'm off to my tank guys!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

"You know what my motto in life is?" "No" "Oh, that's a shame."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Lynching Lynching is an extrajudicial execution carried out by a mob, often by hanging, but also by burning at the stake or shooting, in order to punish an alleged transgressor, or to intimidate, control, or otherwise manipulate a population of people. It is related to other means of social control that arise in communities, such as charivari, riding the rail, and tarring and feathering. Lynchings have been more frequent in times of social and economic tension, and have often been the means used by the politically dominant population to oppress social challengers. Violence in the United States against African Americans, especially in the South, rose in the aftermath of the Civil War, after slavery had been abolished and recently freed black men were given the right to vote. Violence rose even more at the end of the century, after southern white Democrats regained their political power in the South in the 1870s. States passed new constitutions or legislation which effectively disfranchised most blacks and many poor whites, established segregation of public facilities by race, and separated blacks from common public life and facilities. Nearly 3,500 African Americans were lynched in the United States between 1882 and 1968, mostly from 1882 to 1920. Lynching during the 19th century in the United States, Britain and colonies, coincided with a period of violence which denied people participation in white-dominated society on the basis of race or gender after the Emancipation Act of 1833. Today lynching is a felony in all states of the United States, defined by some codes of law as "Any act of violence inflicted by a mob upon the body of another person which results in the death of the person," with a 'mob' being defined as "the assemblage of two or more persons, without color or authority of law, for the premeditated purpose and with the premeditated intent of committing an act of violence upon the person of another." Lynching in the second degree is defined as "Any act of violence inflicted by a mob upon the body of another person and from which death does not result." To sustain a conviction for lynching, at least some evidence of premeditation must be produced, but "The common intent to do violence" may be formed before or during the assemblage."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a homosexual in the army? A brave and honorable person who should be applauded for their service to this great nation

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What's small and can't read? A: A candybar

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why'd the girl fall of her scooter? She fell into a hole and died. She was never found again. All that was left was her scooter.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

ME NAME IS JEFF

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I AM SOFA KING WE TOD HEAD - AV

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you shoot a basketball? With your hands

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Did the boy ever tell you how he died? Trick questions he's dead, deceased bodies can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I think I lost my number so can I... No you can't because phone numbers can't be lost

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's black and blue and lives in a kitchen? A 1940's housewife.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Did you know that if you stacked enough elephants to reach from the earth to the moon, all those elephants would die?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is white and stands in the corner? A refridgerator who has been very bad...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mama's so fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What does Tourettes Syndrome have in common with short term memory loss? I DON'T FREAKING REMEMBER.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the Russian scientist say to the British scientist when he saw two black guys enter a strip club? "Two black guys entered the strip club"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did Chuck Norris say when he saw a cop -Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the dog say? dogs can't talk therefore he said nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops