What's the difference between a man and a woman? One has a penis, and one has a vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the cow die because she ate poisoned apple pie

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did Delaware? A coat.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar and brings a Snickers. He gets a beer, eats the candy, and leaves leaving the wrapper. The bartender is angry with the littering but cleans it up and serves another customer.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

how do you spend all your money you go buy stuff

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your dad is so bald, that a various number of people compliment him on how well shaven his head is.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's funny? At the exact moment you read this, someone is suffering from domestic abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did timmy die he was shot in the head by terrorists

thumb_up thumb_down -5

An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats are the similarities between a dolphin and a bus? they both have wheels, aside from the dolphin. it does not,

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you make a wall a darker shade of red? You throw the baby harder.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

George: I see you got a haircut. Jim: No, I got them all cut.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

how do you stop a bus? shout FOR ALLAH!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I am not racist., I have a black man in my family tree! He is still hanging there

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If you don't see banners here, it doesnt mean their not there...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the boy say to the ghost wearing a banana outfit? Holy crap! A ghost!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at its face.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? Why in the world would you want to know something like that? But anyway, the answer is somewhere, on average, between 10 seconds and 15 minutes. It really varies and conditions like irritable bowel syndrome and constipation affect this range. Actually it takes about 9 months.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What word is ten letters long and starts with gas? Gastronomy.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When life gives you lemmons Give lemmons Life

thumb_up thumb_down -7

your mum

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A black man walks into a bank with a gun......he is a 25-year veteran SWAT team officer attempting to arrest two armed robbers that have 5 old ladies hostage.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops