Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind.

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your mammas so fat she has to buy pants in the xxlarge section of the store

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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why didn't the drug addict take steroids? he was going to but died due to years of substance abuse

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Why did the Koala Fall out of the tree, It was Dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock-knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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What did the little orphan boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he had died six months prior to Christmas due to the horrible living conditions of the orphanage.

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Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

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Justin Littleton's mom accidentally texting him about buying weed, and then offering to buy him ice cream to make up for it.

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what did batman say to robin before getting into the car? get in the car.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

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Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

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What's worse than listening to Justin Beiber? Getting hit by a train.

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Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had cancer and died.

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What did 6 say to 7? Nothing, numbers are abstract concepts thought up by humans and therefore, they cannot speak or converse in any sort of language.

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Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

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What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

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What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick and could not speak at all during his final weeks.

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What's worse than getting a jigsaw puzzle for your birthday? Slavery

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What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

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what did the duck say to the hawk? quack

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Two men and a woman walk into a bar. They are all viciously murdered by a serial killer, who as he walks out, runs into a pole and suffers from a concussion, which he later dies from.

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How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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