BALL SO HARD... That I got kicked off the team for intentionally fouling other players whenever I got on the court, I'm sorry

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick and could not speak at all during his final weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why are blondes stupid? They are not. Its just in America society has been given that impression through inaccurate and crude jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call two gay black men? Homosexuals.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the man start crying? Because he lost his job.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What does a tree and a human have in common? They both fall if you chop them with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why was the man a redneck? because he got sunburned at the nascar race.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the black man get the grape soda? It was the only soda left.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Ask me if I'm a flower. Are you a flower? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What's green and invisible? This cabbage

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Yo momma's so ugly, she decided to get plastic surgery and now has much higher self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you become thinner in a week? Stand in front of a Bulldozer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red Violets are blue I like pancakes Ouch! That hurt!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why didn't the drug addict take steroids? he was going to but died due to years of substance abuse

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Surprise mother father (A+)

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Those days where everything goes wrong, and you think to yourself "I just gotta do whats right here"... ...Sigh... 2. DO YOU KNOW WHY I HATE YOU SO MUCH? BECAUSE I HATE YOU! (Blame is on me, love and hate are not opposites, send me a copy of your book, and ill rip it out for you)

thumb_up thumb_down -174

a weird guy tickled a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Whats worse than dying? Nothing, really.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops