You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

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What's worse than death? Nothing.

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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Paige

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Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

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What is green and invisible? This cabbage.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

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What do all of these jokes have in common? They're not funny. You see, the definition of an anti-joke is a "type of indirect humor that involves the joke-teller delivering something which is deliberately not funny, or lacking in intrinsic meaning. The audience is expecting something humorous, and when this does not happen, the irony itself is of comedic value." As this is a page full of anti-jokes, we know to expect the unfunny - thus robbing us of the experience of an anti-joke.

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What the black guy say to the Jew during the blizzard? I think it's snowing.

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What can be worst than letting someone you dont know run a chainsaw? Letting Smokey Dokey run a chainsaw!

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How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

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What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

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Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

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Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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Why was the black man eating a banana? Because bananas are an excellent source of potassium.

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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A man walks into a pole.

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Yo mamas so fat, that I need a new pair of sunglasses.

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What has wheels and spins round and round? A dog in a wheelchair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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