...this makes a cop throw a car and then call "inception!"

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Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird

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What time is it when you should go to the dentist? About ten minutes before whatever happens to be the time of your appointment.

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Roses are dead Violets are dead Im a bad gardener

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Why doesn't Santa Claus give presents to African children? Because Santa Claus isn't real.

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your mother hates you

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Question: Whats worse then getting hit by a bus? Answer: Getting hit by a train.

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What did the pedofile say to the little girl? Nothing. She was properly supervised by her parents.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to order a couple drinks, and shortly leaves after drinking them, later ending up in a fatal car accident.

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a blonde, a brunette and a red head are robbing a bank, they hear the police coming, so they try to find a place to hide. The red head hides in cat cage, the brunette hides in dog cage and the blonde hides in potatoe sack. When the police come the brunetter says "Woof, Woof!" the red head says "MEOW! MEOW!" and the blonde says "P-O-T-A-T-O-E!"

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A buissnes man walks into a meeting and says hello i'm a buissnesman

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water, hydrated silica, glycerin, sorbitol, PVM/MA copolymer, sodium lauryl sulfate, flavor, cellulose gum, sodium hydroxide, propylene glycol, carrageenan, sodium saccharin, titanium dioxide all adds up to colgate. SO AS A MATTER OF FACT, CHEESE PLUS PIE IS CHICKEN. CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT I LIKE SAYING CHEESE, JACK AND JILL WENT UP THE HILL BECAUSE THEY WERE BAGELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q: What do you call a black guy with an air plane? A: A pilot you racist bastard!

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What did the man say to the drug dealer? I'd like some drugs

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Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

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Whats worse then getting hit by a truck? Getting hit by a turkey!

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A horse walks into a bar... The bartender is amazed at the fact that an animal that possesses neither the mental nor the physical abilities to open doors, still managed to enter the bar without breaking anything.

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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Why? Whats wrong?

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It wa Jerry's first day of kindergarten He pulled out a .44 magnum and shot himself under the chin where he was instantly dead... Yes, dead

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What do you call a black man inside a house that is on fire? A fire fighter as well as a hero since he was probably inside the house searching for anyone who was trapped inside

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why are black people so good at basketball? Because all they have to do is shoot, steal, and run.fctswity (sultably

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Q: why was the cow in the middle of the road? A: because it was dead

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A Guy walks into a bar Ouch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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