"Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?" said the little girl. "I don't know", said the mother," we were robbed of all our money and posessions. And your father was killed while we were gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A lady forgot to feed her goat. When she went to feed it, It wasn't there. Why? She didn't have a goat. Another lady forgot to feed her cat. When she went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? It died 2 days earlier. A man forgot to feed his cow. When he went to go feed it, it wasn't there. Why? They had ate it for dinner last night. A teenage boy forgot to feed his hamster. When he went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? He spent so much time playing video games that it ate itself. So the boy had his mom make him a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q. what did the white man say to the black man? A. hello

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Two gays walk into a bar, they are then kicked out by the homophobic owner.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what did the chicken cross the road? because its a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the frog cross the street? To make babies

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a dolphin on a unicycle? You need medical help

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A creationist, an evolutionist, and Neanderthal Man walk into a bar. They order two beers and a glass of red wine. The bartender asks: "Will that be all?". The evolutionist says "Yes"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

When Josh moran was born he was thrown up in the air three times and was caught twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the squirl eat the accorn? Because he enjoys it.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday just dance 3

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the blind lady say to her cat? Nothing she doesn't have a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the difference between an orange and a dead baby? One is a popular citrus fruit commonly grown in Florida, and the other is a horrible tragedy, possibly caused by miscarriage or a serial killer, who was hopefully immediately jailed for his actions.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was the boy stuck? He's under a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why did the plane crash the pilot was Suicidal

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you make a dyke moan? Insert a BEAVER in it!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's upside down? umop apisdn

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the chicken cross the road? I like to rape cats.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What was the comment at the bottom of this anti joke? come up with a better anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops