Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

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Everyone knows a sandwich made with bacon, lettuce, and tomato is a BLT, but what do you call a sandwich made with tomato, bacon, and lettuce? A BLT.

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How do you kill a 6'5 black man in a dark alley? Stab him 3 times in the appendix with a 12 inch blade.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Notice how Anti-Joke MISSPELLED "user", writing "uses" instead. Probably most of you didn't notice until I posted this :)

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One time I masturbated by myself

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy Get in the van

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how now brown cow. WTF.

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Who is so stupid they could literally be classified as mentally retarded? Evan Lovro

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? -Its a chicken you dumb shit.

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What is the difference between a girl and a boy? Well, a girl has two x-chromosones but a boy has and X and a Y chromosone.

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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What did the black kid get for his birthday? Yo bike!

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Have you heard about the Polish hockey team? They're not very good, but what they lack in skills they make up for in enthusiasm and good team spirit.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea. That would depend on what time you are reading this. As i have no control over this, I am unable to inform you of China's current time. Perhaps you should look into a watch, world clock, or some other device capable of telling the time. That is not the Purpose of this website. However, there are numerous other places for this. God luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can, and only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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What do you call a black man holding a pistol? A black man holding a pistol

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Teacher: Billy what do you want to be when you grow up? Billy: A fireman! Teacher: Tommy what do you want to be when you grow up? Tommy: 9/11

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Who is the worst teacher ever? Mrs. Thompson

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocost

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Why did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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An asian, mexican, and a black guy walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "get the hell out"

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1 man walks up to a tiger and eats cheese toast with brownies and butter and wonders about the stars the end james

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What's green and has wheels? Boogers on a skateboard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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