Knock Knock Whos there? It's me your mom you dumbass and let me in

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Q: Why did Sara fall off the swing? A: She had no arms... Q: Knock Knock! Q: Who's there? A: NOT SARA! --- Q: Okay... What song does Sara sing to her arms? A: Somebody That I Used To Know... --- Now. If you're happy and you know it clap your... nevermind O_O

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at rhyming Refridgerator

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Jacob Edwards has friends

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What did the midget get for Christmas? A new watch and a gift card for Applebee's.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs. Why couldn't she see? The sun was in her eyes.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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What did the overweight blind kid get for Christmas? His parents died in a tragic car crash and he was left alone, fat and blind to fend for himself

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What was the first thing the mother did when her baby was born? Weep. The baby was a was a stillborn.

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The knocking didn’t cease. It grew harder as the voice grew louder. “Let me in! Let me in! LET ME IN!” The knocking grew so fierce it could have shattered the door. Tears leaked from her eyes. “What do I do,” she thought “should I open the door?” The knocking was more than she could bear. “I know you’re in there, Kat.” it said. Her stomach twisted, her breath caught in her throat, and tears now streamed down her face. “Go away!” she shouted finally. “Let me in!” it screamed in response. “Leave me alone!” she cried. The voice and the knocking echoed in her head, making her more nauseous than before. Reaching for the lock hesitantly, she sucked up her tears and held her breath, unlocking the door and throwing it open. Nothing was there. The tree stood in the yard unmoving, no wind. Nothing. She shut the door, shaking in fear. With the click of the lock, the room grew cold. Goose-bumps covered her skin. “Thank you for letting me in.” a voice whispered behind her.

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because he didn't have a face

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Why do gay guys like push pops? Because they are a delicious lollipop treat.

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Roses are black Violets are black Im Helen Keller WWWHHAATTTTT!?!?

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Jerry Sandusky prefers twenty eight year olds. 20 eight year olds.

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There where ducks sitting in the bath One Duck truns to the other an says "could you pass me the soap" The other duck truns and replies "dont call me toast"

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The BCS

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What do you say when you kill a pregnant lady? Double kill

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John Rustenburg at the dinner table

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What did the Ginger get for Christmas? A: a soul

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You're smart... And I can tell a joke.

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A black man, Jew, and Asian walk into a bar... What does the bartender say? get out.

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Q) Whats wet fishy and gets caught by fishermen? A) fish.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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