What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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Why did the man start crying? Because he lost his job.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

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What's brown, liquid and bad for your health in large doses? Did you guess: Coca Cola? Soda? Beer? Pepsi? Wrong. It's beer. Did this Anti-joke sound pretentious? Don't worry, you're not the only one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't a drunk driver went off the street and hit the chicken and killed it on impact.

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ask me if im poop are you poop? no that is impoible

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

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My doctor recommended I take anger management classes. That really pisses me off.

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A man walks into a bar, has a few drinks and spots a nice looking lady He then follows her home and molestes her child.

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What did the cat say to another ? meow

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Why did the girl suck the other guy off? to get paid

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I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

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what is faster than a cheetah? i dont know what? if i knew why would i be asking..

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A man goes to his drug dealer to buy Meth, there is no joke here, he is addicted to meth.

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your momma is so poor she had you just for the free milk

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What did the black man say to the man from Kyrgyzstan? I've never heard of your country before.

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A man walks into a 1980's style restaurant he takes a seat and orders his meal.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass

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Racial Equality.

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What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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