Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

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Yo mamma's so fat, at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that if she did not attempt to control her weight gain through a careful moderation of her diet and began exercising on a regular basis, that her obesity would soon manifest itself in a variety of chronic health conditions that would permanently alter her ability to enjoy life and could significantly decrease her lifespan.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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If she is under the age of 18 years old and is identified by your state as a minor, shes too young for you bro.

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what is worst than finding a worm in your apple? finding half a worm in your apple

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Why is Kony hated by the kid with ADHD? Hey look a kid being raped while watching his family getting killed.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did a second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did a third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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My new Muslim friend is the BOMB

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

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What did the dog say to the cat? "Bark."

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You are so average that, if you entered an average contest, you'd come in middle place.

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How do white people screw in light bulbs? They read a manual.

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Good to know tattletale, I remember hating you back then when you betrayed me, but I cant wait to meet you again. Anyway Nero, I am a girl, its not about sex with me, I just had to tell you, and hope you will take better care of yourself, I know you used to be worried about your looks, and I just want you to understand ill be there for you no matter what. Thanks for the kind words Nero, I know you mean them, you never hid the fact that you found me attractive, but while I did not understand then why you would ruin every nice moment by saying something cheesy or rude, I think I get it now... I know you need rest, but can I arrive as soon as possible? Ill just wait outside or something, I wont be a bother I promise.

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why did the chicken cross the road because the farm is across the street from were it is now

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What do you call a person at your door? Whatever his name happens to be.

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"Knock, Knock" "who's there" "John doe" "John doe who" "I told you my my name was john doe"

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say this really fast D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I CK, D I C K IF YOU CANT LIKE IT

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

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A black guy and a white guy are in a drug store. Who buys the drugs? The customers.

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what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

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A:why did sam fall of the wing ? B:why ? A:she had no arms. B:... A:knock knock. B: who is there ? A:not sam

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Why doesn't the South Pole war veteran remember the name of his child? He is a penguin and could care less about naming his children. Why doesn't the penguin on the North Pole remember the name of his child? There are no penguins on the North Pole.

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what's the difference between a black man and a lift? both can raise babies, a part from the black man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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