If you and Chuck Norris have five dollars you both have the same amount of money.

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Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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Whis a racist rapist etter than a non-racist rapist? less women getting raped

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Knock Knock Who's there? St. Judes St.Judes who ? St.Judes Research Hospital calling. Give me money, I've got cancer kids dying

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

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A women in her kitchen hears a thud outside. Her husband fell off the roof.

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yo mommas so ugly that everyone died.

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

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I'm innocent its all Taggart he's the one instigating.

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Why did Patrick cross the road Because he saw a rock

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What do you call a gay African American Jewish German flight attendant who is addicted to many hard drugs? His name.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, racist.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, All you HATERS of Bieber, Go sick your mother.

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What's Mexico's favorite sport? Cross Country

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Why doesn't the South Pole war veteran remember the name of his child? He is a penguin and could care less about naming his children. Why doesn't the penguin on the North Pole remember the name of his child? There are no penguins on the North Pole.

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(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i cant ryme or spell.

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Guy 1: "Hey do you want to hear a joke?" Guy 2: "Sure" Guy 1: "No."

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Why did the white kids accept Morgan Freeman as a kid? All of his school-mates looked up to him

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whats white and lives in a tree a fridge

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why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

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Whats the thing you least expect to find on Anti-Joke? A joke with a punchline.

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68

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The bartender says ok, then hands him a pistol, then the man shoots the bartender and kills him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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