what worse than a worm in your apple being kidnapped by hores and eaten alive by rabbits

What's the difference between a whale and an elephant

Why was the teenage girl crying? She wasn't, she was just experimenting with her emotions.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Chickens like to wander around.

What is funnier then 25 9/11

how do you blindfold an asian...a piece of dental floss

a black man a chinese man and a mexican man are all on a plane. they land safely and continue with their lives.

How do you keep an idiot busy? Why would you wanna keep an idiot busy, it's not gonna make a difference...

Curiosity killed the cat! No, the tire of a vehicle did.

Gary: How many sides does a triangle have? Juan: 2? Gary: Nope, it's 3, nice try

Once there was a rich man who lived in a castle on a hill. One fine morning who awoke and decided to go downstairs to make a cup of tea. As he switched on the kettle, he realised he had no tea bags, and so, went to the local shops to buy some – but when he arrived back, his magnificent castle had been burnt down to the ground. The man, obviously shocked, looked around in hope for some evidence as to who would commit this awful crime, but he saw nothing, apart from a little green man running off into the distance. The man calls insurance and they give him a mansion. One morning in the man’s fine mansion, he decided he wanted a nice cup of tea, so went downstairs, discovered he had no teabags, went to the shop to purchase some and came back to find his mansion was no more than a pile of ash. Once again he looked around and saw nothing other than a little green man running off into the distance. The man calls insurance for a second time and they give him a normal house. One morning in the man’s normal house, he feels the need for a cup of tea. But has no teabags, he goes to the shop to get some and comes back to find his normal house has burnt down. In the distance a little green man is running away. Insurance give the man a small cottage. And one morning in this small cottage, the man goes downstairs to make a cup of tea, but once again he has no teabags. Off to the shops he went to buy some but discovered, as he approached his cottage on the way home, that it had been burnt down. He looked around to see the now familiar sight of a little green man running off into the distance. Insurance give him a caravan. One morning in the caravan, the man discovers, while attempting to make a cup of tea, that he has no teabags. So, naively, he goes to the shop to get some and comes back to his caravan to find it burnt down. He looked up and saw a little green man running off into the distance. The now annoyed insurance company give the man a tent. One sunny morning in the man’s tent - he feels the need for tea, but has no teabags; he goes to the shop to buy some and arrives back at his tent to find a little green man holding a can of gasoline and some matches. The man asks: “are you the one who has been burning down all my houses?” And the little green man replies: “No.”

nick biggs ate a car well his name is nick BIGGS

John is typing... *2 seconds later" John: Hi

What's worse than 1000 babies tied to a tree? 1 baby tied to 1000 trees.

What did the famed say when he lost his tractor I lost my tractor!!!!

Yo momma's so fat, that she was put in this joke

NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

69

Dad what does negligence mean? SHUT THE FUCK UP KID! I TOLD YOU TO NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!

Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes and noise and they are promptly found by the invading German soldiers. They are all shipped to Aushwitz where two of them are sent directly to the gas chambers where they are killed. The third Jew survives the Holocaust and is eventually liberated by Allied forces. He returns to his country only to find his house burnt to the ground. With no money or food, he starves to death by the side of the road and his body is eaten by various animals.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" So the horse says, "My ex-wife just got full custody of my kids and I'll never see them again."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Idk

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...