Why did the house burn down? Because I set it on fire.

Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

Give a man a fire and he will be warm for the rest of the night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

What do you call a baby in a blender? Child abuse.

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

What do you call a group of jews hiding in an attic? Well, this sounds very similar to the events during World War II in which Anne Frank and various jewish refugees hid from the Nazis.

How did the Jewish husband and wife stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

What did the carrot say when it was thrown out of an airplane? Nothing. It's a carrot.

Cashier: Have a nice day sir! Grumpy man: Don't tell me what kind of day to have ya fruit!

What's worse than banning guns? Very few things

you: guess what somebody: what? you: you have cancer

Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

How do you make a Nazi mad? You slash his tires.

what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A nun in a blender.

What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

Have you heard about the Polish hockey team? They're not very good, but what they lack in skills they make up for in enthusiasm and good team spirit.

Yo momma so ugly she looks like a penis

What do you a call a person who can't fly. A person.

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

Woman rights.

What did the African do when he found out he was constipated? He ate a laxative and went to the toilet

How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family.

In Soviet Russia, millions of innocents died due to the oppression.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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