What did the house do when it came alive? It went home

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What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they're both dead.

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So a Moose walks into this store, and walks up to the lady bitch, and he goes "Hey, lady bitch, where the potatoes?" So the lady bitch goes "Heheh, their in aisle 5." So the moose goes down aisle 5, and there aint no potatoes.

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do you want to hear a joke?

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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What's the difference between and Jew and pizza?!?!?! Jews are people and pizza is a food product :D

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Nicholas Salek did not write the message below. It was a joke one of his mates played!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the World Chicken Road Crossing Competition.

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A man fell off a cliff... He died a vicious death.

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A married couple lies in bed, making out. They must really love each other.

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My grandmother always said "slow and steady wins the race."...... She died in a fire

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Justin Bieber's Never Say Never 3D came out the other day. I went to see it, and it was a pretty good movie.

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What do you call a black midget with no legs and has 11 fingers? A human being

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How do you shoot a basketball? With your hands

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Samantha

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How is pinocchio's nose like a penis? They're nothing alike.

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Norris? well no one knows for certain, but they do know there's alot of fridges involved

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A lion walks into a barber shop and asks for a haircut and the barber says no then the lion proceeds to kill everyone in the shop

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What is green and is a dub dub. A green dub dub.

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YOUIR MAMA IS SO UGLY THAT SHE MIGHT WANT TO LOOK INTO PLASTIC SURGERY TO BETTER HER APPEARENCE

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops