Why was Timmy dirty? Because he was buried

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What happens when you shoot a priest in the heart? He dies.

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What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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What do you call a young child being beating to death with a spiked club? Arousing.

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How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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What's spongy and smells of treacle? Treacle sponge

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what did the man with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a new hat

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Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing Because she had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there... Not Susie Why did the plane crash Susie was flying it

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jonny Jonny who? Jonny tsunami, hope you can swim Japan

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How much does a polar bear way? Near 1,100 pounds.

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A guy walks into a bar, but a metal bar, he hurts his head, he goes to the hospital to get an x-ray, Turns out he hard a brain tumor, He died the next day,

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How do you make a builder sad? You shit on his bricks.

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Jimmy went to a bar, to see a stand up comedian, he heard the standup comedian tell a funny joke, so after the show, he went home and told his wife the joke and after that he said, i made that up, im funny arent i, the wife seemed shifty, so she googled the joke and found the stand up comedians joke, giggled and then proceeded to continue back angrily to Jimmy, because he just did the wrong thing, she slapped Jimmy in the face, divorced Jimmy and killed his 3 children because Jimmy plagurised, and plagurism is illegal, and now Jimmy has no children, and a red mark on his cheek and knows he did the wrong thing don't smoke kids

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How do you survive the plague? you dont.

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What do you get when you cross a horse and a donkey? a mule

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come home from camp.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

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Why was it sad that the kid was playing football? He had no arms and legs and he was the football.

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what did the blind deaf mute boy get for christmas? some nice presents.

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Q. What did the man say when his car broke down. A. Damn it, my car broke down.

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The daring man said "here goes nothing." And nothing happened. -Tag

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Two muffins are in an oven. The oven is set to 425 degrees farenheit. The two muffins are taken out of the oven once cooked, and enjoyed by the couple who cooked them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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