Why'd the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one.

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Digress

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Man, it's starting to get really hot in here." The other muffin says, "MUFFINS CAN TALK?!"

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as he wants to.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a beer, drinks it and walks out.

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why wouldn't the boy shake his teachers hand? his abusive father cut it off with an axe when he was a child

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What has 7 mouths 3 eyes and 5 noses Something very ugly

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Watching your house burn down and your family scream in pain as their flesh burns and you suffer from chronic depression.

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What's the difference between a fine wine and a dead baby in a blender? One gets better as it ages, and the other is a horrific accident.

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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Why wasn't the man able to see his son? He got run over by a train. Knock knock Who's there? The man. He was kidding about being run over.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex.

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Samantha

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How can you tell if someones gay? You ask them.

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What do u call it when a Jamaican gets angrey? Nothing, at all. Just an angrey person

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whatts blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz

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What did Chuck Norris say when he saw a cop -Hi

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Penis

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What do you call a black doctor? A doctor you racist

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your moms tits are so big she may have breast cancer she may have breast cancer which takes approximitely 300,000 lives per year

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What do you call a man who eats a swordfish at 11 o'clock? Dead by midnight.

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Why do flamingos hold up one leg?f If they held up two they'd fall down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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