Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

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If Jimmy has 50 pieces of candy and eats 40 of them, what does he have now? Jimmy has diabetes.

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What's worse than loosing your pen? Getting raped by a pedophile.

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A man walks into a pet store. He then says "This isn't the bar" and leaves.

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What do u call a black man playing a jumping sport? I don't know but it is totally normal.

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There was a seal and polar bear on the same iceberg. The polar bear turns to the seal and says "Roar!!" Then the polar bear ate the seal.

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The white man who called the police and the police officers involved were sued by the family for a large sum of money.

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Yo mom is so fat and stupid that she used butter to get through the doorway, but she ate it

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Q: what do you call a bunch of dead accountants? A: the holacost.

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Your mother is so fat that she is highly likely to get heart disease and/or diabetes.

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A man walks into a bar, he begins drinking and returns home visably drunk. His family disowns him as he is a recovering alchoholic who was three months sober.

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A boy walks up to a girl and says "Do you like ice cream? Cuz I have a huuuuuge penis."

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How is pinocchio's nose like a penis? They're nothing alike.

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A man walks into a man walks into a man walks into a man.

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why are black people so good at basketball? because they all can run jump steal and shoot

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A man walks into a bar, and says ouch.

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Where did Sally go during the explosion? Everywhere.

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Q:What is the differenc between batman and a black man? A: Batman can go out in the night with out robin

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What starts with a P and ends with a O-R-N? Popcorn

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Busted? What the hell is going on?

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what did the terorist do when he went out side blew up

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A mexican Police officer walks into a crime scene. "Ouch." he exclaims, rubbing his forehead where a red bump is already surfacing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops