Roses are red Violets are blue If you came 'cause GameGrumps Fuck you.

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What did one prisoner on death row say to the other? Can you please clean off the seat when you're done? I'd like to die in my own urine.

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What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

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It's a man's 100th birthday, and as one of his last wishes he wants to go skydiving. Unfortunately, due to his crippling arthritis, he was unable to pull the rip cord on his parachute and plummeted to his death.

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What isn't funny? The holacost.

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Roses are red-ish Violets are blue-ish If it weren't for Jesus we'd all be jewish

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why'd the baby cross the road it was stapled to the chicken

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Want to hear a cat joke? Just kitten.

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Why did the coconut fall out of the tree? Gravity.

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Why did the Filipino hate internet advertising? Because navigating around a webpage with pestering visual and audible promotions often proves cumbersome and distracting from the task at hand.

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How did you feel after smoking that joint? I felt like going to pass out And then? I passed out

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What did John the accountant do when he saw a flying dog, He woke up from a wonderful dream and started his day

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Knock knock Who's there? An elf. An elf who? An elf who wants to be a dentist.

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want a balloon? yeah

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Why do guys like Halloween? Martin Luther posted the 95 theses in 1517 on this day.

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A black man and a mexican jump from a tree. Who hits the ground first? The mexican. The black man had a rope tied around his neck.

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Why cant penguins fly? because they cant

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whats the difference between a white kid a nd a puerto rican kid? one smells fine and the other one smells like he walked out of a butcher shop that sells cigars and cheap prostitutes

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Q: Why didnt the irishman walk out of the bar? A: He died of severe alchoholism and had a heart attack and died istantly

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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What's black and white and red allover and can't fit through the door? A nun with a spear through her neck

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Paul howley can't drive, phahahaha

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I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he is blind and has chemical burns all over his body.

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Cashier: Have a nice day sir! Grumpy man: Don't tell me what kind of day to have ya fruit!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops