roses are red violets are blue i have alzheimers roses are red

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Ring. Ring. Hello? Hey, It's Sean Oh hi! How are you?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. "Knock, Knock" "Who's There?" "Not Sally."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A black man found chicken on the floor. He ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into a bar. Dyslexia is not funny. -Tag

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are dead Violets are dead Im a bad gardener

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between God and Kanye West? God doesn't think he's Kanye West.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Yo mamas so fat that she decided to get a gastric bypass to help lose the weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock. Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Are you from Tennessee? Because you smell like crystall meth.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Where does Osama bin Laden do his shopping? He doesn't, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Billy Corgan: The world is a vampire! Me: No it's not. The world is a mass of mineral compounds that floats in space approximately 93,020,000 miles from the sun. It is not, in fact, a vampire.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?" Brunette: "I don’t know." Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Muffins can't speak therefor it said nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your Mama is so fat, when she jumped on the couch, she broke the couch.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a Justin Beiber concert and a hedgehog? With a hedgehog, the pricks are on the outside, but in a Justin Beiber concert, the pricks are on the inside.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

hey

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is the difference between a duck. One of its legs are both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Who's there? I bought a Jeep

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Do you know what will hurt? Getting hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

These might be offensive Events: * The Black Plague * The Columbine High-School Massacre * The Enron Scandal * The Great Depression * Hurricane Katrina * The Iraq War * Krakatoa * Mt. Vesuvius * September 11 2001 * Titanic * World War I and II People: * Adolf Hitler * Al Capone * Attila the Hun * Blackbeard * Caligula * Charles Manson * Ed Gein * Elizabeth Bathory * Idi Amin * Ivan the Terrible * Jeffery Dahmer * Josef Fritzl * Josef Mengele * Joseph Stalin * Kim Il-sung * The Ku Klux Klan * Nero * Osama bin Laden * Pol Pot * Saddam Hussein * The Taliban * Torquemada * Vlad the Impaler Diseases: * AIDS * Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis * Bubonic Plague * Cholera * Chronic Diarrhea * Cystic Fibrosis * Dysentery * Ebola Virus * Gonorrhea * Herpes * Leprosy * Mad Cow * Malaria * Necrotizing Fasciitis * Polio * Rabies * Scurvy * Smallpox Films: * Antichrist * Audition * August Underground's Mordum * Blue Velvet * The Boy in the Striped Pajamas * Cannibal Holocaust * Goodbye Uncle Tom * Gummo * Happiness * Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer * I Spit On Your Grave * Irreversible * Men Behind the Sun * Mysterious Skin * Once Were Warriors * Requiem for a Dream * Salo or the 120 Days of Sodom * Schindler's List * Taxi Driver * Vase de Noces Misc: * Alcoholism * Anorexia Nervosa and eating disorders * Arson * Bestiality * Cannibalism * Capital punishment * Castration * Child abuse * Colonoscopies * Coprophilia/phagia * Drug abuse/addiction * Electric torture * The gassing of cats and dogs that have been abandoned * Genocide * Human sacrifice * Losing one's favorite childhood toy * Mustard gas * Necrophilia * Neo-Nazism * One's grandmother dying * Pedophilia * Racism * Rape * Religious intolerance * Stillborn babies * Suicide * Walking on broken glass * Working on weekends Peter1-8

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops