What did the house do when it came alive? It went home

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"You know what my motto in life is?" "No" "Oh, that's a shame."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The screams were loud. It was just one big fire behind him. He and his fellow chickens had been trapped. They thought they were being freed... They thought wrong. The guards herded them in and then the heat started. The fires began to rage. His friends, his allies, his brothers, were falling dead, burning, beside him. He had to escape. He did not think, only acted. Lashing out at the guard, he knocked him down and ran. He ran and ran until he could run no more, and he still kept running. He could still hear his brothers' screams. He could still see their faces burning before his eyes. He reached the road, and finally stopped. He looked around. The screams had stopped. The heat had left his body. But then another sound came. Yelling. The guards. They were following him. He tried to keep running. But he just couldn't. He was finished. He fell on the road, sliding himself along as quickly as he could. He hadn't run this far to be caught by the guards. He stopped. He could go no further. He looked up and saw the blue sky, cloudless and free. The last thing he heard was a roaring engine. The guards never found his body.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A person who has black, white, and red paint on his or her body.

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Why was the women out of the kitchen? She felt the desire to relax after a day of work...

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What is green and is a dub dub. A green dub dub.

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A conversation between friends ( or some what.) Joe: I'm thinking about going out of state for college ... Rick: your mom went to college! Joe: yes she did Rick that's why shes a docker and my families rich.

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Why did little Lucy climb up a tree? Cos her dad beats her.

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how can you tell if your moms fat? if Dora can't explore her (mx)

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Is this the krusty krab? No, this is Patrick

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Two men and a woman jump out of a plane. They forgot their parachutes and all died.

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What's the difference between a whore and a blonde? There is not enough information to answer this question.

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It's fun for you and me, that's why they call it OCD It's easy as 1..2.... Hey look a butterfly!

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What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

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A Muslim boards a plane and he sits done quietly and politely just like everyone else, the plan lands safely at its destination.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They were baked until the baker them until they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How do you make someone think your wierd? Pretend to be a panda.

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why do you care?

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I'm Color Blind F*CK

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Q. You know what sucks A. Being an orphan

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Why did the samurai commit Sepuku? Because it is an honorable Japanese tradition.

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Why did the man not go to church? He was an atheist.

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why did the homeless man buy a mansion? he didn't. i lied. he would need a job to be able to buy a mansion.

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had an axe embedded in his chest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops