(speaking to an orphan) knock, knock who's there not your parents

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Starving children in africa.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is the unltimate Jewish dilemma? Free pork

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you get when you put the head of a lion on the body of an eagle?2 dead animals and a fine for killing protected species.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why was the man's arm bleeding? Because he just got shot in the arm...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why the woman scream when she arrived at her surprise party? Everyone was dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

your momma's so fat i almost didn't have sex with her.... almost.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's sad about three black men driving over a cliff?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happened to the short kid on april 30th: His girlfriend broke up with him

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Lynching Lynching is an extrajudicial execution carried out by a mob, often by hanging, but also by burning at the stake or shooting, in order to punish an alleged transgressor, or to intimidate, control, or otherwise manipulate a population of people. It is related to other means of social control that arise in communities, such as charivari, riding the rail, and tarring and feathering. Lynchings have been more frequent in times of social and economic tension, and have often been the means used by the politically dominant population to oppress social challengers. Violence in the United States against African Americans, especially in the South, rose in the aftermath of the Civil War, after slavery had been abolished and recently freed black men were given the right to vote. Violence rose even more at the end of the century, after southern white Democrats regained their political power in the South in the 1870s. States passed new constitutions or legislation which effectively disfranchised most blacks and many poor whites, established segregation of public facilities by race, and separated blacks from common public life and facilities. Nearly 3,500 African Americans were lynched in the United States between 1882 and 1968, mostly from 1882 to 1920. Lynching during the 19th century in the United States, Britain and colonies, coincided with a period of violence which denied people participation in white-dominated society on the basis of race or gender after the Emancipation Act of 1833. Today lynching is a felony in all states of the United States, defined by some codes of law as "Any act of violence inflicted by a mob upon the body of another person which results in the death of the person," with a 'mob' being defined as "the assemblage of two or more persons, without color or authority of law, for the premeditated purpose and with the premeditated intent of committing an act of violence upon the person of another." Lynching in the second degree is defined as "Any act of violence inflicted by a mob upon the body of another person and from which death does not result." To sustain a conviction for lynching, at least some evidence of premeditation must be produced, but "The common intent to do violence" may be formed before or during the assemblage."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The white supremisist woman with anxiety dialed the suicied help hot line. The operator that answered was clearly African-American. She then hung up the phone and continued to call back and try again.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? ..... he didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did the Jew his German neighbor? Every morning the Jew says hello and the German replys hello

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you get if you take the head off a Koala and a Wombat and swap them around? A bloody mess and about 4 years in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into the doctors and he says to the doctor 'my leg hurts when I poke it like this'. The doctor replies 'don't poke it like that then'.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Jewish man died in a car crash. His family mourned his death throughout the next few years.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the black man put in jail? Because he escaped.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, Violets are blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

knock knock. who's there myhairs myhairs who myhairs fallen out

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: How did Whitney Houston die? A: Who?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, and then come back halfway? A: He was racing his friend to the other side. He didn't realize his friend got hit by a truck until he looked back. He continually cried until finally he got it together and walked over to his dead friend. He wasn't paying attention though, and another truck hit him. The truck driver continued his road trip and bought KFC for dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a duck walks into a bar. he sits by another duck and says duck 1: Quack!! duck 2: I was just about to say that! duck 1: No way! duck 2: Seriously! duck 1: We are so a-like. duck 2: totally!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops