What did Jesus REAREAREAREVENAGNCEREALLY SAY when he was walkin on da waterz? And I bless this object which shalth now be known as the surfboard, Amen. Seriously, im a Christian, that sounds kinda cute in a weird way... Like aww, thats why he walked on water, not because of terrifying super powers.

What happened to the man who jumped into a puddle? He contracted hypothermia due to the low temperatures of the water. He died the next day.

The white supremisist woman with anxiety dialed the suicied help hot line. The operator that answered was clearly African-American. She then hung up the phone and continued to call back and try again.

Lynching Lynching is an extrajudicial execution carried out by a mob, often by hanging, but also by burning at the stake or shooting, in order to punish an alleged transgressor, or to intimidate, control, or otherwise manipulate a population of people. It is related to other means of social control that arise in communities, such as charivari, riding the rail, and tarring and feathering. Lynchings have been more frequent in times of social and economic tension, and have often been the means used by the politically dominant population to oppress social challengers. Violence in the United States against African Americans, especially in the South, rose in the aftermath of the Civil War, after slavery had been abolished and recently freed black men were given the right to vote. Violence rose even more at the end of the century, after southern white Democrats regained their political power in the South in the 1870s. States passed new constitutions or legislation which effectively disfranchised most blacks and many poor whites, established segregation of public facilities by race, and separated blacks from common public life and facilities. Nearly 3,500 African Americans were lynched in the United States between 1882 and 1968, mostly from 1882 to 1920. Lynching during the 19th century in the United States, Britain and colonies, coincided with a period of violence which denied people participation in white-dominated society on the basis of race or gender after the Emancipation Act of 1833. Today lynching is a felony in all states of the United States, defined by some codes of law as "Any act of violence inflicted by a mob upon the body of another person which results in the death of the person," with a 'mob' being defined as "the assemblage of two or more persons, without color or authority of law, for the premeditated purpose and with the premeditated intent of committing an act of violence upon the person of another." Lynching in the second degree is defined as "Any act of violence inflicted by a mob upon the body of another person and from which death does not result." To sustain a conviction for lynching, at least some evidence of premeditation must be produced, but "The common intent to do violence" may be formed before or during the assemblage."

What happened to the short kid on april 30th: His girlfriend broke up with him

Why do you touch yourself at night? Because I do too

Why do guys love to wrestle? They like to have physical contact with other men.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To see his brother im dying of leukemia.

why was the man's arm bleeding? Because he just got shot in the arm...

What's sad about three black men driving over a cliff?

What do you get when you put the head of a lion on the body of an eagle?2 dead animals and a fine for killing protected species.

why the woman scream when she arrived at her surprise party? Everyone was dead!

What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

your momma's so fat i almost didn't have sex with her.... almost.

Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Starving children in africa.

What did the pedefile say to the child? Get in the van

(speaking to an orphan) knock, knock who's there not your parents

What is the unltimate Jewish dilemma? Free pork

Knock knock Who's there? Not you

why did the pinapple walk the plank? to eat a cat because cheese say people!

Why did the chicken cross the road? ..... he didn't

A Jewish man died in a car crash. His family mourned his death throughout the next few years.

What do you get if you take the head off a Koala and a Wombat and swap them around? A bloody mess and about 4 years in jail.

How did the Jew his German neighbor? Every morning the Jew says hello and the German replys hello

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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