what did the boy say to the girl? make me a sandwich.

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In soviet Russia - some people were poor.

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John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

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The Game.

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

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Women's rights

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Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Man, it's starting to get really hot in here." The other muffin says, "MUFFINS CAN TALK?!"

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was being deporting because he over stayed his visa and is now an illegal immigrant

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A duck walks by to a lemonade stand. He says to the man running the stand, "Quack."

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas

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a man is having trouble getting onto the internet on his home computer. so he he calls a computer technician to help him. \

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Q: Have you heard from that guy who dropped a piano on his head? A: No one has, he dropped a piano on his head.

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Lady Gaga didn't have anything to wear to the playboy party.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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Wanna hear a funny joke? I can't think of one at the moment...

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You know what they say about women with really big feet? They actually don't say anything.

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if life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians

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I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's wet.

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What can you never have for dinner? Breakfast and lunch

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some of these so called "anti-jokes" are real joke s- they don't belong on anti-joke. they are very funny but are traditional jokes that use cliched non-sequitor as punchlines.

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What is Freddie Mercury's favorite planet? Earth.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Ching Chong Bing Bong.. Yoyao? Dat U?

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What's green and has wheels? A green car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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