Two Jews walk into a bank. They make a deposit and leave.

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What happened to your face? I walked into a tree

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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Q. Why did the girl with no legs fall off her bike? A. Somebody threw a refrigerator at her.

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand hey! Got any guns

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What clicks when its out of lead ? A gun Why was the little black boy crying ? He ran out of that grape drank How do you make a dead baby float ? You take your foot of its head How do you know when your life is over ? When you start watching Twilight What is blue and sticky ? Blue Stick What do you get when you mix a dog and a cat ? Shit

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What's the best way to pick up girls? Lift with your legs, not your back.

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Why did Hanna fall of the swing She had no arms or legs Knock knock Whose there Not Hanna Haha

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Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

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Why did the man name his son David? He didn't. It was his wife's choice.

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut? A Heart Attack.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

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Why did the chicken refuse to cross the road? Yo dawg, dat chicken saw dat hoe Sally crossin da road, dat biatch got hit wit a fridge. Dat chicken was like "hell naw, yall must be trippin, i aint finna die over dat shiet homie, peace!"

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The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

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Why did the fat lady poop on my knee? Because i'm thirsty.

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wheres a place a cancer patient cant go? the hairdressers

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Four blondes are driving to Disney World. When they are in Florida, there is a sign that says "Disney left" Upset, they make a u-turn and go home.

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THEY SAY SEEING IS BELIEVING. I NEVER SAW 9/11! 9/11? NEVER HAPPENED -Jonathan

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A.how does a penguin change a light bulb? A.the same way all other penguins change a lightbulb

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why is a squirrel called a squirrel? that's its name.

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do you wanna hear a joke about pizza? sure. naw,its too cheesy

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It smells like triangles in here.

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What did God say to Noah? "Hi."

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I could even argue that having blood on your penis is kinda fun sometimes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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