What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash and the other one is a watermelon.

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What did God say to Noah? "Hi."

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Wombat monkey juice.

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Why is cheese yellow? Answer: I don't know, I was hoping that you would know.

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Why was the white man poor? Because he could not hold a stable job for his wife and kids.

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Noobz -wondering why your valid anti-joke is getting voted down? Simply because it's a repeat, someone else has already submitted it. Only the original is valid for positive to votes. The regulars on here willallvote a repeat down immediately. I have 3 accounts set upwith different IP's just to do that. You have been warned. Search first mo fo's

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96

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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Why did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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You know what they say about women with really big feet? They actually don't say anything.

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Billy Corgan: The world is a vampire! Me: No it's not. The world is a mass of mineral compounds that floats in space approximately 93,020,000 miles from the sun. It is not, in fact, a vampire.

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Why dont you ever see black people at night? Because the majority of people sleep during the night, including the african americans

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

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Q: What is the differenc between a Jew and a boy scout? A: The boy scout comes back from camp.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Joe Joe who? Your friend Joe OK come in

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How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

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What do you call a black man in an envelope? A tiny black man

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What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

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Once upon a time, I farted They believe this now as the "Big Bang"

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what do you call anybody eating at mcdohnalds? hungry, diabetic people

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Who is worse than Justin Bieber? Hitler

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Q. Why did the middle-aged man need glasses? A. The man's father had poor eyesight and therefore could not see well without the help of glasses.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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