What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

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"Behold, the greatest invention Man has ever seen!" exclaimed the inventor of eyes.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are both eaten fifteen minutes later.

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Two girls are sitting quietly.

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how do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? throw a mars bar off a cliff!

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I'm so hungry I could eat food

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What is the difference between a pizza and the Jews? The pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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the Holocaust. Because anything involving the Holocaust is automatically an anti joke. the Holocaust wasn't funny.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pancakes Ouch! That hurt!

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what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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whats arrogant, has blonde hair and belongs in the kitchen? Gordon Ramsay

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How did the black man get out of the bathroom? He opened the door.

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Gues what makes me smile Mouth muscles

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what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing - she had no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he can't fly

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Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

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Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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what do you call a man that looks like will ferrel? jim

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Get me a sandwich, bitch

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, this joke sucks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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