Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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Q: Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh

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You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

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Andrew: who's better at football, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? Thomas: ur mom

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

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Why did the doctor have no peins? She was a woman.

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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Why did Landry hit the man with a metal pipe? Because he was a rapist and wanted to remove his virgin status.

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Yo mamma so fat, she probably has Type Two Diabetes - which is often associated with obesity - and should seek medical advice.

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what is it called when a woman is president. The Apacolypse.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face? The man replies "i have a huge malignant tumor in my chin"

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what do you call a man that looks like will ferrel? jim

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"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

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Yidi Huang lives here.

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What do you call one black guy surrounded by eleven white guys? Wayne Simmonds

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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