Guy: If you can guess what's in my hand, you can have it. Girl: If it fits in one hand, you can keep it!

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What do you get after putting bread in a toaster? -Toast.

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Your momma is so old, she has lived a wonderful, long life and witness a lot of human achievement.

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Think about it: Is mexico REALLY full of: Lowrides in candy ass sparkly colors such as lip red that bounce, (manly color right? Yeah sure baggot) which contains a whole street war gang of members inside and at least twenty tons of COCAINA! ...But does not have a horn that plays "la cucaracha" Seriously, you say yes right? Hey look at this guy he said yes everybody, but ITS WROOOOOOONG CUCARACHA OR GTFO OF MEXICO! Yeah... Because Mexico is shit, id would be racist if Mexicans didn't agree...

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A man walks in a barn. He lifts his bucket of food and starts feeding his horses.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

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How much carlins does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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How do you know it's a Mexican's birthday? They bring cupcakes to school for your entire class to enjoy.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

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"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains." "Well that sounds like a mental illness and I deal predominantly with physical ailments"

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Whats worse than The Holocaust? TEN HOLOCAUSTS!!!!

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Q: What is the meaning of life? A: We don't know. Dwight: FALSE. The answer to everything is 42.

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Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

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your mom is so stupid, she once wrote a math test and didn't do very well.

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why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it was hit and killed by a vehicle, much like all animals that try and cross roads. created by KA

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I've done a lot of soul searching, and.... I've realized.... the & symbol really looks like a man dragging his butt on the ground.

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Why couldn't the blonde screw in the light bulb?? - she happened to be autistic

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I doubt it thought much about this. The chicken is a simple animal, and i doubt its actions were spurred by any particular motivation.

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why did the chicken cross the road? orange you glad I didn't say banana

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Why did the plane crash and everybody die on board? The plane crashed because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: I have 2 dogs. Why? A: I like dogs

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q

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops