There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

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How much does a polar bear way? Near 1,100 pounds.

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What's black and white and red allover and can't fit through the door? A nun with a spear through her neck

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I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he is blind and has chemical burns all over his body.

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why do birds fly away when you go near them? incase your black

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vagina, hehehehehehehe

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What is the difference between a mustache, and a pile of dead babies? Mustaches disgust me.

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I think people who go to see a psychiatrist need their head examining.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Set an alarm for an appropriate time

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Do you know what is dead on the carpet ? Your mother

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How do you scare a blonde woman? Tie her up and mutilate her family while she watches.

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Where do black jews go? The back of the oven

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What's green and gets people high? A green helicopter

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What is worse than spending time with in-laws? Nothing.

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What did the widow get for her birthday? Nothing from her husband.

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What did the carrot say when it was thrown out of an airplane? Nothing. It's a carrot.

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Did you hear about the deer? He had antlers. If antlers where a kind of disease, that would be a pun.

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How do you do you cure cancer? Very carefully.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A family of aristocrats walks into a talent agency and shows their performance. The talent agent asks: "How do you call yourselves?" They say: "The Aristocrats", "because that's what we are; Aristocrats."

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When Nicki Minaj wrote her song "Stupid Hoe" she was sublimminally talking about her self.

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Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

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I took a dump in a well don't ask me i'll never tell i look to u as it fell and now its in the well Hey,i just took a dump and it smells like crazy so here's my number so call the plumber Call the plumber

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How do you blindfold and Asian? By using a sturdy bandanna, cloth, any other object to avert ones view.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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