Q: What's bigger than a volcano? A: Earth

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

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What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family of four.

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Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

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how do you get to your favorite chinese restaurant? Wok.

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How could problems have been avoided in the old west? Bigger towns

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Q:Why do people not live forever? A: Because they die dumbass.

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What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

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Why'd the boy fall off his bike? The holocaust

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Q. What did the man say when his car broke down. A. Damn it, my car broke down.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? The bench can support a family.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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A duck walks into a bar.... Animal control is swiftly called and the duck is relocated to a nearby park.

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What is it called when a Native American Indian man smacks a woman in the face for cheating on him? In police code it's called a "273D Domestic violence - Felony" most likely involving an insecure man with control problems simply adding to the stereotype that Native American's are drunk, abusive and domestically violent people.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What did Liberia say to Texas? Tag, you're it!

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How do you make a clown sad? You hit him in the face with axe

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How much carlins does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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A kid walks into a bar. The bartender promptly calls child protective services and the child is placed in a caring foster home.

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The answer: He is dead! (read it throughout so you cant go wrong) Question: So why cant a man in Italia marry his widows sister? Moral: Had yet to read one like this one...

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Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees - have nothing at all in common.

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What's worse than a 15 year old getting hit by a car? Adam Johnson

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Two generals went for a trip, it went very well in general.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops