Hey I had a wet and dirty dream about you last night. Really? What happened? You got hit by a bus and I pissed myself laughing. .......

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Two guys go hunting and one of them aims the sniper at the other guy's house and says "I see your wife's cheating on you again with another man" he replies "I've had it with her, shoot him in the privates and shoot her in the mouth" the friend says "I'll get that in one shot".

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The Cubs are going to win the world series this year

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A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

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three men get stranded on a island and cannibals find them and they say go find 3 fruits and come back. first guy comes back with three apples and they say we will shuve them in your rectum and if you scream we will kill you he screams he dies. second guy comes back with grapes and he laughs before they can start. and in heaven the first guy says why did you laugh and he says there voices are funny.

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A man walk into a bar. He then falls down, quickly picks himself up, and continues his life.

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Your in a building there's no windows ,doors and a sement floors and u only have a mirror and a table how do you get out You look in the mirror see what u saw take the saw saw the table in half two halfs make a hole clime out the hole

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What does a snowplow clearing an empty parking lot look like? A horse running freely in a pasture

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Why did the boy like watching NASCAR? He didnt because he was a fish and a secret Soviet spy

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A: How much do you love me? B: Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. A: But, it's morning. B: Exactly.

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DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BYrnTHE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.TOMMOROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOWrnYOU'VE STARTED READING THIS. DON'T STOP. THIS IS SO FREAKY.rn1. say your name ten times.rn2.say your mom's name five times.rn3. say your crushes three timesrn4. paste this to four other groups.rnIf you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday.rnBut if you read this and do not paste this, then yournwill have very bad luck.rnSEND THIS TO 5 GROUPS IN 143 MINUTES. WHENrnYOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERSrnON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKSrnrnrn

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How many people does it take to drive a car? 1 person

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Are you Drew?

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Meh, I dont want it anymore! You can have it.

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What did God say to Noah? "Hi."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS.

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What's green,has 4 legs and lives in a tree? A pool table

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Whats the difference between an oven and a fridge One is hot and the other is cold

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What is red, blue, and green all over? A piece of paper with three colors on it.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

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A man walks in to a bar and says "ouch."

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whats the difference between a rapist and a pedophile? the racist has his own whistle

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer.

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ugh good riddance

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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