Paul and Steve, Siamese twins attached at the head, come to a fork in the road they are traveling. Paul wants to go left, while Steve wants to go right. They pause for a moment to figure out which direction would be the best choice for the both of them. They decide to go Paul's way, and as they continue to travel in silence, they try to imagine what life as a self-reliant individual would be like.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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Heat oven to 375°. Grease 18 regular-size muffin cups (or 12 large size muffins). In bowl, mix butter until creamy. ... Add eggs one at a time, beating after each. Beat in vanilla, baking powder and salt. With spoon, fold in half of flour then half of milk into batter; repeat. Fold in blueberries.

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Q: What's bigger than a volcano? A: Earth

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Roses are red violets are blue we're stuck together like superglue roses go brown violets go darker cut the crap and the stupid laughter...I just went through a breakup

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

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how do you get to your favorite chinese restaurant? Wok.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family of four.

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Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

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What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Why'd the boy fall off his bike? The holocaust

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What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? The bench can support a family.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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Q. What did the man say when his car broke down. A. Damn it, my car broke down.

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How could problems have been avoided in the old west? Bigger towns

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Q:Why do people not live forever? A: Because they die dumbass.

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What did Liberia say to Texas? Tag, you're it!

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A kid walks into a bar. The bartender promptly calls child protective services and the child is placed in a caring foster home.

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How much carlins does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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How do you make a clown sad? You hit him in the face with axe

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What is it called when a Native American Indian man smacks a woman in the face for cheating on him? In police code it's called a "273D Domestic violence - Felony" most likely involving an insecure man with control problems simply adding to the stereotype that Native American's are drunk, abusive and domestically violent people.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What's worse than a 15 year old getting hit by a car? Adam Johnson

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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