Q: Where does a hooker go for her footlong? A: Subway

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What do you get if you cross a Sheep with a Kangeroo. An abomination unto God.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What did Jim say to Bob? Hi Bob.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why was Timmy dirty? Because he was buried

thumb_up thumb_down +44

, , /^\ ___ /^\_/ `...' /` ,__\ ,' ~ ( ,___\ ,, ., \ \___ \\\ .'.' .-. ) .'.-\\\`.`. '.-. ( / (==== ."". ( o ) \ ,/u `~~~'| / `-' ) "")^u ^u^|~| `""". ~_ / /^u ^u ^\~\ ". \\ _ /u^ u ^u ~\ ". \\ ( \ )^ ^U ^U ^U\~\ ". \\ (_ (\ /^U ^ ^U ^U ~| ". `\ (_ _ \ )U ^ U^ ^U ^|~| ". `\. (_ = _(\ \^ U ^U ^ U^ ~| ".`.; (_ -( _\_)U ^ ^ U^ ^|~| "" (_ = ( ^ U^ U^ ^ U ~| (_ - ( ~ = ^ U ^U U ^|~/ (_ = (_^U^ ^ U^ U / (_- ~_(/ \^ U^ ^U^," (_ = _/ |^ u^u." (_ (/ |u^ u.( (__/ )^u^ u/ /u^ u^( |^ u^ u/ |u^ u^( ____ |^u^ u( .-' `-, \^u ^ \ / ' .---. \ \^ u^u\ | ' ` ; | \u^u^u:` . `-' ; | `-.^ u`._ _.'^'./ "-.^.-```_=~._/ `"------"' Seahorse

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Dylan Hodge likes to lick his mums penis to sleep every night.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink, drinks his drink, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's worse than aids? Super aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

knock knock who's there? a murderer. a murderer who? a murderer who kills you and your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Knock, knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest!

thumb_up thumb_down +42

what is white and black and red all over? a half eaten penguin

thumb_up thumb_down +40

I hate it when sentences don't end the way you expect them potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Yes!

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why was Sally crying She got a high five In the face With a chair

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How did the blind man eat his soup? With a spoon. Despite no vision, the man could feel the shape of what he was touching.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Paul and Steve, Siamese twins attached at the head, come to a fork in the road they are traveling. Paul wants to go left, while Steve wants to go right. They pause for a moment to figure out which direction would be the best choice for the both of them. They decide to go Paul's way, and as they continue to travel in silence, they try to imagine what life as a self-reliant individual would be like.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

wanna hear a joke? no.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Heat oven to 375°. Grease 18 regular-size muffin cups (or 12 large size muffins). In bowl, mix butter until creamy. ... Add eggs one at a time, beating after each. Beat in vanilla, baking powder and salt. With spoon, fold in half of flour then half of milk into batter; repeat. Fold in blueberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did sally break her arm? A piano fell on her

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops