Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock... Who's there? Not Suzy.

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A black man went to jail while a white man received $200 dollars. They were playing a friendly game of monopoly.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

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Hellooooo whos there? Its me fred Fred? A Canadian

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What do you get when you put the head of a lion on the body of an eagle?2 dead animals and a fine for killing protected species.

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Two men and a woman jump out of a plane. They forgot their parachutes and all died.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Why was the ginger walking around in bare feet? He had no sole.

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So a horse walks into a bar, animal service is called and after being unable to locate the owner he is put down.

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

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Why weren't there any black people at the book sale? Black people don't read.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its feet are both the same.

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Q. How did the blind man survive from walking of a cliff? A. He didn't he died

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A Mexican walks up to a fence in Texas and watches as the police take away his next door neighbor for tax evasion.

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Q.whats the differecne between a bicycle? A. orange,...a vest dont got no sleeves.

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A man walks outside and walks back in. Why? Because it was raining purple unicorns and he felt the need to go back inside.

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Four rats are smoking in an alley. One rat turns to another and comments, "These are some fine smokes. Where'd ya score these?" The rat holding the pack of Menthols replies, "Off a' Fred." He points to a rotting whale carcass in the road. The other rats are horrified. "How did a whale die in the street?!," they squeak. "He didn't. He died on the beach."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Little Tommie is dead In a body bag Going to the dumpster Behind my house

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What did the man with five penises say? I have 5 penises.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? ..............

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What kind of shots I'd John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

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How many Freudians does it take to screw your mother - I mean, a lightbulb?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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