I AM SO FAT I WANT TO EAT MORE FOOD. I NEED A DOCTOR BECAUSE IM GOING TO END UP LIKE YOUR MOM!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a person who uses food stamps? Poor. What do you call a black person who uses food stamps? Still poor.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Wanna go bike riding?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Obama: And then I said there would be a change. (hahahahahaha)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you dirty racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

" Hey you have something on your face. " ( man speaking punches the guy he was talking to ) " It was pain."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

thumb_up thumb_down +1

your mumma so fat she stepped on the weight scales and it says to be continued

thumb_up thumb_down +1

pinky ponky went a bit wonky oh no plz dont go or i will rape you untill you know

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar and brings a Snickers. He gets a beer, eats the candy, and leaves leaving the wrapper. The bartender is angry with the littering but cleans it up and serves another customer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A mexican Police officer walks into a crime scene. "Ouch." he exclaims, rubbing his forehead where a red bump is already surfacing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Wade

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So this guy comes into a bar... Jizz eveywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names! *ba dum chzz*

thumb_up thumb_down +1

THEY SAY SEEING IS BELIEVING. I NEVER SAW 9/11! 9/11? NEVER HAPPENED -Jonathan

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A blonde woman walked into a bar. She ordered a scotch.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Bob and his family were looking forward to going to an all inclusive holiday to Spain. When they got on the plane, a bomb went off, causing Bob to realise that he was never going to see his family again, and that they were about to suffer a horrific, painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because at some point through out the day, it had been relocated to the other side of the road. Since it was feeding time, it needed to return to the chicken coop or else risk death due to starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a sailor went to his G.P to see if he had HIV turned out he had hepititis C

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Polite say "Hey you, get out of that tree."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man runs into a house and unloads a round of bullets killing 2 people in the kitchen. He wins Search and Destroy for his team at Nuketown.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Do you know what Lady Gaga make for his birthday? A: A party

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. see how easy it is to save with GEICO.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do dinosaurs pay their bills? They don’t, dinosaurs don’t have a capital system.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops