Why i'm breathing? I don't want die.

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Charlie Sheen walks into a bar... Every morning, and stays until it closes... [credit gilbert gottfried]

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so dont touch it.

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whats the best thing about polio...death

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Whats Something everyone has except david? Money.

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Why was the fat man removed from the restaurant? When his date didn't show up he started and crying and proceeded to stab himself with a fork

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.....Carrot Top....

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A man who was clearly tired and worn out enters a bar. The bartender says "Long night, eh?" The man responds "Yes, very. I was with my girlfriend." The bartender says in response "Well I'm sure that was a fun time, if you know what I'm sayin." "No, not really" says the man. Little did the bartender know, the man's girlfriend was a dominatrix.

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ask me if im a house are you a house? no

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You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

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*knock knock* Who's there? *Gorilla* Gorilla who? *Gorillas don't hoot, owls hoot*

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A Palestinian and an Israeli both board a plane at the same time. They exchange awkward glances and take seats at different ends of the plane.

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This one time at band camp... I played an instrument and learned to march with the rest of my school's band.

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I am not racist., I have a black man in my family tree! He is still hanging there

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings

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When life gives you lemons, You find a new life

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Remember when the whole country was sad because Marget Thatcher died? No, me neither.

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Why did the man get fired? Because he had cancer

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Person 1: You know whats funny? Person 2: No! What? Person 1: A joke!

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Q: What do you do when your friend tells you he murdered someone? A: Call the police.

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why was the black woman forced to sit in the back of the bus? all the other seats were taken.

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whats worse than forgetting to buy cinnamon toast crunch at the grocery store? Getting beat to death with a gallon of rotten milk...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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