I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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What has two thumbs and cancer? This guy.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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Hey man how was your trip? great!!! It blew my mind

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What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

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What stinks and comes out of someones mouth. Bad Breath

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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why did the lion get lost? because the jungle is massive.

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Why did Justin Beiber cross the road? He didn't because he is still in the closet!

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

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Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

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Two girls are sitting quietly.

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How do you fit 6000000 jews into a car? 1 in the front, 1 in the back and the rest in the ashtray.

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What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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Jake: "Guys Apple's new phone is going to be curved." Bob: "Who makes curved phones?" Jake: "Apple."

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? BECAUSE SHE WAS A BITCH!

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Q: What do you call a car full of black people? A: Stolen

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A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

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what did the angry asian man do after chrashing his car? He died later in the hospital that night from a combination of severe head trauma, internal bleeding, and various fractures.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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A man goes to his drug dealer to buy Meth, there is no joke here, he is addicted to meth.

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hi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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